I've learned too much...

I just arrived back in my apartment in Detroit after a weekend at my parent's home.  One of the first things I had to do after my drive back was use the toilet.  And I noticed that the water level on my toilet had significantly decreased...then I got to thinking...

...the humidity in my apartment must be low, meaning that the partial pressure of water is not being met for the temperature in my apartment, and so any available water is being vaporized into the apartment atmosphere, which includes my toilet water...and my roommate's toilet water...which means that I'm breathing in toilet water...lots and lots of toilet water...because we don't have any other sources of water sitting out anywhere else...

And that is when I realized that I've learned too much...

M3 OSCE (objective structured clinical exam)

(Patient with chief complaint of bruise over eye and wrist pain with associated bruise, very clear history of domestic violence)

Me: I just need to take some of your social history.  Who do you live with?

Fake Patient: My boyfraand

REALLY REALLY wanted to ask, 'Is your boyfriend Chris Brown?'

But I didn't

And I'll have to live with this fact forever.

Hard to believe

Patient: Last time I came here, there were 3 girls.  And no offense, but they were a lot more attractive than you guys
Bro Intern: Sir, if you were at the hospital you say you were at, I find that extremely hard to believe...

Real doctor

I love it when the patients say "When is the doctor going to see me?"
I always want to reply, "When you're done answering my questions."
But unfortunately, what I really say is, "Soon Sir/Ma'am. The doctor is slightly preoccupied at the moment and I'll be taking some of the preliminary information from you to expedite your visit.  I apologize about the wait."

My soul dies a little bit every time this happens.  Approximately 54 weeks from now, I'll have the MD behind my name and I'll be able to forever evade these questions, and even champion the med students who get this treatment.